speak?

when you see someone you care deeply about. love.
walking away from you.
you instantly think they wont come back.

whether your speech was the stimulant.
or their actions your urge.
it does not matter after they've walked away from you.
looked straight into your soul.
and turned their back.

you sit. alone.
head in hands, supporting it from falling onto the table in front of you.
which would in turn knock you out because your head is this heavy.
you kind of wish for a moment it did,, so you wouldn't feel so helpless.
or even better you sit there literally holding your head up, keeping your chin from dropping.
embarrassing you in front of the unsuspecting public, moments from bursting out in tears.

soon.. you grab a hold of yourself. or more literally you pick yourself up.
off the chair that for a short while you were some how super glued to.
unable to move an inch.

thoughts distance, as legs move one after the other.
faster each second without you instructing them to.
surroundings blur into nothing, not one face was clear.
because of the faces, there was not the one i was looking for.
as i roamed for his.

wounded, and troubled in his state.
i found it..
i staggered to continue to him.
pausing a fraction. uncertain.

almost completely gone.
he felt.
today he wasn't going to turn back.

my eyes clued to his path.
not ever wanting to see him walking down it.
without me.

my mouth silenced.
terrified to speak again.

my pulse missing from my being.

my hand took hold of his.
so neither would stray.
or ever float away.

my apology. my love.